The never-ending adventures of a travel writer in Vietnam, Cambodia, New Zealand and throughout the Asia-Pacific region.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Please Uncle Ho, give us The Hobbit

Dear Uncle Ho,

As you may remember, you turned off our access to Facebook in Vietnam quite some time ago. First we speculated it was for political reasons. Then later, we began to think it was economic. Today I think I finally discovered the real reason: you don’t like hobbits.

You see, I didn’t even know Peter Jackson began filming The Hobbit already, until I saw the Tweet today.  I’ll bet you saw it too. Nothing gets by you.

When I heard filming had begun and Peter Jackson had a new Facebook page, I raced to get on the site and see the new photos and production diary video.

Instead though, I got the same old browser error. What’s more, none of the popular work-arounds, trying as hard as I might, could get me on PJ’s Facebook page.

I know you began blocking the site back in 2009, so this may seem implausible to some. But I think you’ve been following all the pre-production hurdles in the Hobbit saga too, and were just getting prepared for the eventuality of filming. In your wisdom you knew that we’d all want to get on Facebook and see what Peter Jackson and his band was up to. The social evils of nasty little hobbitses became an issue that threatened the stability of your national unity block.

I’m writing to you to try to change your mind about Hobbits. If you only knew the truth, I think you’d like them too.

You see, Hobbits are all about class struggle. They fight insurmountable odds to unite the underclasses and thwart the colonial imperialist, Sauron.

Hobbits are much like our country folk—they love Bia Hoi (fresh beer), tobacco, afternoon naps, good food, they have a uncanny knack for keeping track of their distant cousins for generations—and they are also short.

Peter Jackson’s films are full of symbolism. The stars in Galadriel’s eyes ignite nationalist fervor. The orcs—look closely—carry hammers and sickles. Smaug the dragon shows us the evils of capitalism and the bourgeoisie as he holds all the riches of the people and confounds the means of production.

In the Lord of the Rings, like the Party Central Comittee, is found fantastic leadership, though sometimes it loses its revolutionary spirit. The Politburo, or rather the Council of Elrond, meets some struggles when members chase individualism, or rather the power of the ring.

In the end, the task of Frodo the Hobbit is to destroy the symbol of capitalist imperialism: the ring of Sauron. And as we all know, Frodo succeeds, uniting the workers in a collective of peace and equality. Frodo is the Vladimir Lenin of Middle Earth.

Please dear Uncle, Hobbits are good for Vietnam—we can learn a lot from Frodo, Bilbo and that greatest of all communes, the Shire. Please give us back Facebook. Let us rejoin the adventures of Peter Jackson. Please Uncle Ho, give us The Hobbit.


Owen said...

I hope you don't mind Adam, but I put a permalink to your blog on my home page.


Adam Bray said...

Absolutely fine, thanks!

Giao said...

Dear Uncle Bray,

Uncle Ho had read your letter and felt tremendously moved. However Uncle Ho doesn't own Facebook. It instead belongs to Uncle Sam. You would probably want to directly contact Uncle Same by twitter or any means appropriate and claim our Facebook back.

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